Adoption Therapy
Therapy for parents thinking about adoption, or of kids adopted from foster care, kinship, domestically, or internationally
Virtual therapy anywhere in Texas and Arizona
LGBTQIA+ Affirming
Sometimes your kid does weird things that people who haven't adopted don't get.
Like having a full blown meltdown at family dinner because you asked them to wait five minutes for food to be served.
Or that time they screamed at the top of their lungs, “You’re not my real mom! You can’t tell me what to do!” In response to the absolutely unreasonable request from you to hang up their backpack after school.
Right now they can’t even make it through a day at school, and you’re constantly canceling things to go pick them up early, or deal with a behavior issue.
Or they’ve simply shut down and shut out the world, curled up tight in their little shell, and you have no clue how to draw them out.
You’re feeling like you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, or even regret that you decided to adopt in the first place.
Whatever it is that you’re experiencing, you’re beginning to notice the impact of this in every facet of your life:
Your work life is suffering from all of the interruptions and emergencies you have to deal with, and your job may even be in jeopardy.
The physical effects of constant stress are starting to take their toll, through headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue.
That village of people you thought you would have for support has all but disappeared, or its too hard to tell them what’s really going on, so you’ve distanced yourself.
This doesn’t have to be your life. Just imagine:
Feeling confident in making decisions for your child that meet their unique needs, and help them be the best they can be in a world that isn’t built for them.
Knowing what to do in the middle of a meltdown, outburst, or shutdown to communicate that you are present, you love them, and you aren’t going to leave, and even deepen your connection in the process.
Doing “normal kid things” with your child, like going to the zoo or the park without feeling on edge the whole time, waiting for it to all fall apart.
Adoption Therapy Can Help
It may feel impossible now, but you can make it through a day without your kid breaking something in anger. You can see the meltdown coming, or know what to do in the moment when it happens. You can have a “normal” relationship with your kid, and experience moments of joy as a parent. And I can help you get there.
Adoption Therapy helps you do 3 things:
Look beyond the surface behaviors that are the tip of the iceberg, throw out the sticker charts, and drill down to what’s really driving those behaviors. What’s the root of the problem that’s under the surface?
Understand how your history as a parent and your child’s history before they came to you (no matter what age they were) form the dance of attachment, and how you can lead in that dance in a way that makes your child feel safe to follow.
Learn how trauma affects your child’s brain and body, and how you have to parent differently to set them up for success, so you can see them grow and thrive into the functional and independent adult you want them to be.
I’ll help through this process, tailoring each step to your unique needs and circumstances. My approach to Adoption Therapy comes from a place of hope and connection: knowing that you’re not a failure as a parent, and your child isn’t “damaged”. You’re both a sum of your experiences, and history does not have to be destiny.
Baffling behaviors and constant chaos doesn’t have to be your life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the first session like?
A: Even before the first session with your child, we will do an in-person or virtual intake session where I get a sense of the big picture of your family, your child’s adoption story, the most pressing issues for you right now as their parent, and what your hopes for your child are.
In the first session with your child, the focus is on building connection and felt safety. A child that doesn’t feel safe is unable to make any progress until they do. If your child needs it, you can be in the room in the first few sessions to help offer that connection and safety. The sessions will follow your child’s lead, noticing what they are drawn to in the toys and play items around the room and engaging with them in their play or exploration.
Q: How involved will I be in my child’s therapy?
A: While the child is the primary client, and therefore the focus of therapy, collaborating with parents is integral to their success. An hour a week with me won’t change much if nothing else at home changes. I meet with parents every few sessions to get feedback on what they are seeing at home, provide insight into the progress I am seeing in the room, and suggestions on things to try with their child.
Often parents who choose to adopt a child with trauma have their own trauma history that is part of what led them to adopt in the first place. I’ll process this history with you and help connect the dots on how your past may be affecting your relationship with your child. I’ll do all of this while maintaining privacy and trust with your child, being open with you and with them about what feels safe to share.
Q: How do I prepare my child for therapy?
A: While each child is different, knowing what to expect can take some of the anxiety or fear out of seeing a new therapist. I’ll share photos of me and the office so you can look at them together and they can ask questions. You can even set a time to come tour the space before their first appointment if that would be helpful. If your child has never been to therapy before, you can describe what a therapist does in age appropriate terms, like “a therapist helps you sort out big feelings”. Or “this therapist is going to help us all yell less at home.”
I’ll spend part of the first session preparing your child as well, giving them a tour of the office space to eliminate unknowns, providing snacks, talking about privacy, and letting them ask questions.
Q: How do we get started?
A: We will start with a short phone call to make sure I’m a good fit for what your family needs, and answer any initial questions you may have, and then we will schedule your full intake and your child’s first appointment from there.
